God is in the small stuff

Last weekend I was over at my parents' house (yes I practically live there now) and was having breakfast with them. On the mantel of the fireplace I saw a small brown bear. It reminded me of the bear that the hospital gave us after Aleah died. The bear was included in a care package that had imprints of her feet and hands, a tiny diaper, measuring tape of how long she was, a blanket, baby booties and a hat, and a journal for me to write in. When we buried her, she was so small that I didn't want her to be all alone in her casket so I had the bear placed with her.

Well, after a few weeks had passed I decided that I wanted the bear and regretted putting the bear in with her. Sometimes I miss her so much that I just want to hold something because my arms are empty. This was brought on largely because Jason started calling her Aleah bear. I wanted something tangible that I could hold, I wanted my Aleah bear.

The bear on the mantle was a bear that my parents put out at Christmas time but somehow had not made it into the boxes with the other decorations. I asked my Mom if I could have the little bear because it so closely resembled the bear given to us at the hospital. She said that was fine. I went to pick up the bear and felt something on the back. I turned the bear over and saw a pair of golden wings. My heart stopped and my eyes grew watery as I realized how perfect this little bear was. This really was my Aleah bear, representing my little girl now in heaven.

God gently whispered, "I planned this just for you." The little bear had been left out for months without a thought, but God had plans for that little bear. He knew what was going to happen to me and my little girl and He planned to remind me of His love through a tiny bear. He has let me know that He has not forgotten me or my pain. He lets me know that He has gone before me and prepared a way for me. I thank God for the small things He does in my life to let me know how much He loves me. Even though He is the great creator and almighty who is worshiped and praised by a host of angelic beings, He will take out the time to plan for me to find a bear with wings to give me comfort.